Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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