I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
