I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize