I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
