I need help removing her.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
