no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Randomize
