Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
