I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
