the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
