i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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