I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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