once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
