We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
did i just pee glitter
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
