I'm so fucking centered right now
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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