the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
