I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
