It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
