We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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