Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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