So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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