And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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