You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hippo gnu deer
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
