Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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