I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
