i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
