That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
