that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
