Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
