Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.