His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Hippo gnu deer
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.