If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE