I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?