Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I miss Bob Barker.

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Yeah, more like Douche Carey...

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  (816): I miss Bob Barker. (808): Yeah, more like Douche Carey... http://tfl.nu/37q6
  Replies (12) Good night (1541) Bad night (643)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.

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  (262): So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt. http://tfl.nu/9ocn
  Replies (24) Good night (505) Bad night (5068)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.

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  (901): I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus. http://tfl.nu/pp37
  Replies (14) Good night (4910) Bad night (1210) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.

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  (323): Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat. http://tfl.nu/q9lv
  Replies (17) Good night (4715) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.

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  (216): As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks. http://tfl.nu/d4mm
  Replies (14) Good night (1029) Bad night (4188) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.

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  (709): Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob. http://tfl.nu/pavi
  Replies (16) Good night (1766) Bad night (3917) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges

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  (607): He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges http://tfl.nu/3nw2
  Replies (24) Good night (1256) Bad night (6340)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land

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  (508): whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land http://tfl.nu/kude
  Replies (7) Good night (2613) Bad night (1446) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves

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  (815): my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves http://tfl.nu/kwdc
  Replies (28) Good night (5036) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate

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  (306): So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate http://tfl.nu/7nyf
  Replies (7) Good night (559) Bad night (2045) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.

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  (647): I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette. http://tfl.nu/pqu7
  Replies (4) Good night (1401) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...

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  (716): I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life... http://tfl.nu/ae71
  Replies (5) Good night (735) Bad night (1268)
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  (347): View more from New York

  we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now

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  (347): we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now http://tfl.nu/ncyn
  Replies (3) Good night (411) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?

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  (651): Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD? http://tfl.nu/tnlb
  Replies (7) Good night (1416) Bad night (197) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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  (401): I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE. http://tfl.nu/jvh7
  Replies (8) Good night (417) Bad night (1416) Order T-Shirt

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