i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
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I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
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Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger