OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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