I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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