no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
