when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
