So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize