You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
