My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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