12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
