she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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