I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
