I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize