i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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