How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
