im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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