i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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