I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
ttyl tear gas
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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