i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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