dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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