She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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