Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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