I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
