He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
