So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
