I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
