I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
