watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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