HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
