is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
