Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
