I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
