i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
