He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
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You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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